Emotionally preparing, the journey towards my new chapter

Can you emotionally prepare for emigrating? No. You cannot predict how you will be feeling and it is different per person. I planned my emigrating for a year, from the moment that I decided to move to Macedonia till the moment I actually left my home, and I was not prepared for the emotions.

‘Are you sure you want
to give up your life here?’

I was totally cool with it, didn’t make such a big deal out of it. People kept telling me: ‘oh my, I would never dare to do such a thing’ or ‘Are you sure you want to give up your life here?’ Ahum, wait I am not giving up my life, I simply start a new chapter across Europe. But everyone was very excited and supportive, just one person told me: ‘How can you leave your brother?!’. Yep that was kind off harsh, also because my brother and I are very close and even look alike, which is scary to be called twins when there is a four year difference.

From that moment that I decided I want to move, it was clear. I didn’t know how or when, but I wanted to go and so I started planning. (Part of that you can read in my previous post: Are you planning to move abroad? Be prepared).

Everything went great honestly, up until one month or so before I left. I began to cry when I packed my clothes, that moment I even started to have doubts. ‘Why would I do this? How can I live without my family and friends? Is this relationship even going to work?’ Yeah wow, the things I was so sure about the whole year started to come back to me all at once. I didn’t talk a lot about it, mostly my boyfriend just listened to me, whining about all my feelings.

Than the moment you have ’goodbye dinners’, and I had a lot! Lots of fun of course, I think I even gained weight because of those… and the best thing ever: the surprise party! Never had one of those, and I was totally in shock. I even thought it was someone else who had a birthday… It was awesome and yes some cried (I blame the alcohol) and I am blessed to have my friends supporting me and loving me like they do.

‘Yes there are obstacles,
but it is so worth it!’

The day when I said ‘goodbye’ to my house, the house I grew up in, the house that has so many memories and then my brother. Oh god I cried, I cried with closing every single door in that house. Good thing my dad brought me to Macedonia with the car (so I could bring all the stuff that I wanted to bring) so I didn’t have to say goodbye to him yet.

The great thing is that I already had a ticket booked back to the Netherlands just four months later. And one of my best friends was coming to visit me just two weeks later after I moved. So if you are as emotional as me, please do plan ahead it helps.

Now after a year looking back to this, I am so happy I moved abroad and till now it all works out pretty good. It made me stronger and I now can say I truly know myself. Yes there are obstacles, I probably have not seen them all, but it is so worth it!

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